


Brew

by conceptofzero



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Drugs, Hypnotism, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-14
Updated: 2012-08-14
Packaged: 2017-11-12 02:45:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/485802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conceptofzero/pseuds/conceptofzero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every time he does this, Die promises himself it will be the last time. Next time, he’ll give Crowbar the proper drink and he’ll let Crowbar get some real sleep on the couch. He won’t take advantage of his trust and he’ll be a good friend. But each time Crowbar pulls Die aside and asks him to brew some tea, Die always ends up grabbing the herbs he knows he shouldn’t use.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brew

**Author's Note:**

> An expanded version of a short kinkmeme fill.

Every time he does this, Die promises himself it will be the last time. Next time, he’ll give Crowbar the proper drink and he’ll let Crowbar get some real sleep on the couch. He won’t take advantage of his trust and he’ll be a good friend. But each time Crowbar pulls Die aside and asks him to brew some tea, Die always ends up grabbing the herbs he knows he shouldn’t use.

Die’s on edge and jittery by the time Crowbar finally arrives, nearly dropping the pot when Crowbar knocks. He quickly sets the tea down and answers the door, letting Crowbar in. “I’m so sorry about the mess, I just. I’m working on some things and I can’t put it away until I’m done. Is that okay?”

“It’s your room, whatever you’re doing is... fine.” Crowbar hesitates as he notices the bones on the bedside table, then continues like he never saw them. He sits on the couch and Die grabs a seat across from him, in his favorite chair. “Is it ready?”

“Yes, it just finished before you came in.” It finished a while ago, but the longer it brews, the stronger it gets. Die doesn’t take chances with the tea, since what he’s doing is... well. Illegal. Immoral. Enough to get him expelled from the Felt if anyone found out. When he learned to do this, he was told it was just for knowledge, and that he should never, ever use it on another person.

Die pours the tea, watching as Crowbar picks up the cup and drinks from it. It’s not a pleasant taste, or so Die’s been told. He’s never tried it himself, but Crowbar always pulls a face when he swallows. Crowbar drinks it all without complaint, and even as he’s finishing the last drops, Die can see it start to set in. So can Crowbar. “That’s great... I’m just going to sleep now.”

“Sure, yeah, doze off. I’ll... I’ve got things I’m working on. I’ll work on them.” Die’s good at pretending to be busy, but he doesn’t have to worry. While Crowbar’s eyes never shut, he can see all the light drain out of them, leaving behind an empty gaze.

Die just watches as all the stress smoothes out of Crowbar’s body, leaving a handsome relaxed shell. The tea was once used to make men into obedient slaves, a long time before Die was born. It’s been outlawed for centuries, the herbs carefully regulated and watched for abused. But there are no police in this place, and no regulation, and no one who knows what he’s doing in here with Crowbar but him. He knows it’s wrong, he does. He knows it but...

But he wants Crowbar so badly.

Die waits until he’s sure it’s taken effect before he asks anything of Crowbar. It takes some time until Crowbar is pliant, until his eyes are throughly glazed over. “Crowbar? Take your hat off.”

Crowbar reaches up and takes his hat off. At no point does he look away from the wall he’s staring at, his eyes sluggishly blinking now and again. It’s a start, but it’s not enough. Die has to be sure.

“Do a handstand.” While someone might remove their hat to be polite, there’s no chance of a still alert Crowbar ever doing a handstand. And all the proof Die needs that Crowbar is thoroughly under his control can be found when Crowbar stands up and promptly places both hands on the floor, pushing the rest of his body upright. His coat sags down, but he stays perfectly still, not wavering even a little on his palms. “That’s good. Um. Stop now. Sit back down.”

He does, taking his place once more on the couch. Only now when Die is absolutely sure does he fetch the blindfold from the drawer. The illusion only works when he can’t see Crowbar’s eyes. “Crowbar. I’m going to put this blindfold on you.”

Crowbar says nothing. Die wraps it around his eyes and ties it in the back, taking care not to tie it too tight. He doesn’t want to hurt Crowbar. Die’s aware of the contradiction in his thinking, but he clings to it all the same. He’s desperate. If there was any other way to do this, he would. But he knows Crowbar would never agree, never.

Only when the blindfold is on does he give the command, his voice hushed and nervous. “I want you to suck me off.”

Even with the blindfold on, Crowbar does exactly that, kneeling down in front of Die and reaching for his pants. His fingers slide over the front of Die’s pants, fingers touching his clothed cock. He undoes Die’s trousers and tugs them down, Die lifting his ass to help them down to his knees. And then Crowbar finally leans in and slips his mouth right over Die’s cock.

He’s good at it. Die doesn’t know if he’s always this good, or if it’s the drug that makes him so uninhibited. Crowbar sucks gently on Die, looking so good with his lips wrapped around a cock. Die’s hands hold onto Crowbar’s shoulder, feeling him move as he slides up and down Die’s shaft.

“Use your tongue...” He suggests and Crowbar does, his tongue lavishly moving over the head of his dick. Die moans, bringing a hand up to stifle it. He doesn’t want anyone to hear him and listen it. Die would rather die before being found out. Crowbar doesn’t notice, licking steadily and focusing intently on the task in front of him. “N-now... down again.”

Crowbar stops dragging his tongue over the head and his mouth envelopes Die’s cock again. Die’s teeth dig into his cheeks as tries desperately to stay silent. He’s perfect like this, more perfect than it could ever be without a chemical influence. Crowbar wouldn’t be so happy to give Die pleasure, to focus totally on him and to not even be a little embarrassed by the dick in his mouth.

“Ask me...” Die pauses, not sure if he wants to make Crowbar say it. Crowbar carries on, and the suction is so good, and his mouth is so perfectly warm. He manages to say it softly. “Ask me to fuck your mouth.”

Crowbar pulls off, head tilting up to look at Die in spite of the blindfold. “Fuck my mouth.”

It’s not quite right. “Beg me to do it. Beg me to fuck your mouth.”

“Fuck my mouth,” He says, and there’s longing in his voice mixed with desperation. Die’s cock twitches hard and he stands up in front of Crowbar. Crowbar’s mouth is open and it’s so easy to push his way inside, thrusting tentatively at first and then roughly when it’s clear Crowbar can handle it. Die’s hands hold tight to Crowbar’s head as he fucks his mouth, breathing hard and heavy as his eyes focus down on the scene. This will be what he thinks of for months and years when he’s curled up on himself in bed, his cock in his hand. He’ll dream of this moment and the way Crowbar sounded as he softly gagged.

“You like it, don’t you? You like it. Nod your head.” Die commands and Crowbar nods, still holding the cock in his parted mouth. He groans, hands trembling. “Beg me to come in your mouth. Tell me you- you want to taste me.”

Crowbar mumbles around the cock, his voice a mess of syllables. But Die knows what he’s saying because he told Crowbar to say it. He shoves Crowbar all the way down, gasping and panting, listening at Crowbar chokes a little. His whole pelvis tightens and then he’s coming, unable to stop the strangled sounds he makes as his hips press as tight against Crowbar’s face as they can.

Half a moment later, he hears Crowbar choking and he spits out an instruction. “S-swallow, swallow!” Crowbar swallows twice and he stops choking. Die sits down hard on the couch, his cock wet and limp. Crowbar stays on his knees, mouth partly open, so wet and swollen. Die grabs hold of Crowbar’s shirt and tugs him up. “Kiss me.”

He does. Die can taste himself in Crowbar’s mouth. It’s a little too passive to feel real or right. Crowbar can’t quite manage kissing. Other things are easier for him to do, but this just isn’t one of them. Still, he pretends that this is more than what it is, more than just a command.

Die slides his hand down Crowbar’s chest, ending as he cups his groin. Crowbar’s hard and it thrills him, knowing that he hasn’t asked Crowbar to do this for him. It means something. It means he does like this on some level, even if he would never do this without the drugs. “Come with me.”

He takes hold of Crowbar’s hand, leading him away from the couch and over to his bed. Die doesn’t usually make his bed, not unless Crowbar’s coming over for tea. Right now, everything is so nice and neat. It’s almost a shame to ruin it.

Almost. He looks at Crowbar’s wet mouth and kisses him quickly, both hands taking hold of Crowbar’s face. It’s dizzying, and he pulls back, smoothing his hands over Crowbar’s jacket. The next command is a whisper. “Take off your clothes. And... and take mine off too. But slowly.”

Crowbar strips off his jacket and shirt, letting them drop on the floor. He stands to take off his pants, and Die lets his eyes linger over Crowbar’s naked body. Die touches him, one hand settling on his thigh, the other curving around his cock and stroking it a few times. Crowbar grunts, but his hands push Die’s aside as he leans in, reaching for Die’s clothes.

He does as he’s been told, undressing Die slowly, his hands lingering on his body as he removes the items one by one. Die helps here and there, turning his body and lifting his hips to make it easier. The best part is not getting naked, but just having Crowbar touch him. There have been times when he just had Crowbar lie beside him in bed and stroke Die’s back and arms, just so he could feel what it’s like to have Crowbar dote on him.

When they’re naked, he pulls Crowbar onto the bed with him, arranging them so Crowbar is on top of him. “Kiss me.” Crowbar’s kisses are still lackluster but Die doesn’t care. He closes his eyes and curls his hands around the back of Crowbar’s neck and his right arm, his hips nudging up against Crowbar’s erection. “Say you want me.”

“I want you.” Crowbar whispers into his mouth and Die shudders with delight, kissing Crowbar twice as hard.

“Wait a moment. Just... wait there.” Crowbar is rolled onto his side and Die gets to work prepping them. This is beyond Crowbar’s ability when he’s drugged. He tried once but... it didn’t end well. Die’s quicker at it, and it takes him no time to have a few fingers inside of him, slicking up his entrance. He takes care of Crowbar too, stroking his cock and watching closely as Crowbar’s face changes ever so slightly.

When he’s ready, he tugs Crowbar back on top of them, getting them lined up. He has to position Crowbar’s cock at his entrance, but Crowbar’s the one that pushes in and fills him smoothly, sending a bolt of pleasure through him. “Fuck me,” he moans, and Crowbar thrusts into Die, both hands settling on Die’s hips as he does.

He should feel worse than he does about this. This is not only a violation of Crowbar’s free will, but also certainly blasphemous. This is against all of the teachings he learned, and frankly just a terrible idea all around. The first time he tried, he promised himself he would never do it again.

But he’s been so lonely for so long, so desperate to find someone, anyone, to care for him the way he cares for them. And he loves Crowbar. He’s so handsome and kind, but too good to look at Die. Crowbar only looks at Die and sees someone pathetic, someone sad and needy and unlovable. He doesn’t see Die as worthy.

Crowbar can’t see how unworthy Die is with a blindfold over his eyes. The first time failed because Crowbar could look at him, and all Die could see was how drugged he was. His eyes were the wrong shade of green and they stared through Die instead of at him. But like this, with his blindfold on, you can’t see him looking through Die. You can’t tell that he doesn’t want this.

“Say you love me,” Die begs softly, his hips tilting up to make Crowbar’s job easier. Each thrust pushes deeper into Die, the sensation growing more and more intense. “Say you love me.”

“I love you.” Crowbar’s voice is dull and strained. Die pretends that Crowbar is simply overcome by how sudden this is. He presses his face against Crowbar’s face, kissing those waiting lips. Crowbar rocks into Die, and Die pretends the movement of his mouth is not coincidental, but on purpose. He pretends that they are fucking and they are in love and that Crowbar wants him badly. The mouth tastes slightly bitter, the remains of the tea he had Crowbar drink. It has no power over Die, but so long as it lingers, he will do exactly as Die commands. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” The blindfold is slipping and Die closes his eyes, not wanting to see Crowbar staring blankly at him. He turns his face up, feeling nothing but Crowbar’s hands on him, and his cock moving inside of Die. “I love you so much. Say you love me.”

“I love you.” Crowbar assures him, and Die is loved, even if only for a moment.

They fuck, just as Die commanded him to. With his eyes shut, Die focuses only on how Crowbar’s cock feels inside of him, and the motion of his body under his hands. His mouth remains open, pressing against Crowbar’s, slowly licking his way inside it. Crowbar grunts softly with effort and arousal, his heavy breathing eventually forcing Die to stop kissing him.

With his eyes still closed, he reaches up and finds the blindfold, doing his best to push it into place and tighten it. Only when he’s sure he has it does he open his eyes, cringing slightly in fear. If he sees those empty eyes right now...

The blindfold is fine, snuggly back in place and covering what it needs to. Die presses his forehead against Crowbar’s. “Tell me how good I feel. Tell me... tell me I’m the best you’ve ever had.”

“You feel good.” Crowbar is not particularly creative. He mostly just parrots what Die says. But that doesn’t matter, not when they’re the words he wants to hear so desperately. “You’re the best I’ve ever had.”

“I love you.” He’s starting to get hard again, but it’s not enough. Die takes hold of one of Crowbar’s hands and pulls it off his hip, moving it to Die’s cock “Stroke me. But keep fucking me while you do it.”

Crowbar’s free hand ends up pressed into the bed to keep himself upright, while the other forms a tight fist around Die’s dick. He jerks in time with his thrusts, and Die writhes on the bed, pressing his palm over his mouth to muffle his moaning. It feels so good like this, so unimaginably good. His legs wrap around Crowbar’s waist and Die pulls his hips up a bit higher, letting Crowbar sink even deeper in.

He must be getting close because Die can see Crowbar’s teeth grit. “Don’t come yet! Don’t... wait for me.”

Crowbar hesitates for a moment. Asking him to fight something like coming is harder to obey than other commands Die gives. But he manages it, starting to fuck Die again. The hand on his cock keeps moving in time with the one inside of him. It’s good but-

“Turn over. I want to be on top.” As soon as the words are out of his mouth, Crowbar rolls onto his back, bringing Die up on top. From up here, Die can sink deeper onto Crowbar’s cock, moaning against the back of his hand as Crowbar fills him. He leans back, hands resting on the bed, and he starts to fuck himself on Crowbar. “Tell me that you want me. Tell me that I’m the only one you want.” 

“I want you.” He keeps stroking Die, his free hand lying on the bed. Die picks it up and presses it against his ass. “I only want you.”

“Tell me... tell me you like it when we do this.” Crowbar’s cock is so hard. Die rides him hard, keeping his body arched so it hits the right spot. His own cock is leaking in Crowbar’s fist, and he feels so desperate and needy in this moment. When he’s with Crowbar, he feels fourteen again, getting hard at the drop of a hat and overcome with lust at every moment. “Tell me that... that you’re glad I... give you the tea.”

“I like it when we do this.” Crowbar parrots and Die rocks down hard. He wants this forever: Crowbar lovingly whispering to him in the middle of sex, telling him everything he wants to hear. “I’m glad you give me the tea.”

“I’m glad too. I love you so much. I-” Die’s bouncing when he sees Crowbar’s face twist up and feels him come a moment later deep inside of Die. “No! No! Not yet!”

It’s too late to take it back. Crowbar groans and collapses, and Die slips off of him, huffing with frustration. This isn’t what he wanted at all. They were supposed to come at the same time. It would have been so romantic...

“Crowbar...” Die frowns. But as disappointed as he is, he just sighs and forgives Crowbar. It’s not fair of him to ask Crowbar to last so long. He gives Crowbar a kiss. “Next time, you have to wait.”

At least Crowbar’s hand is still hard at work on his cock. Die just curls up against Crowbar, letting himself be stroked. He sits on Crowbar’s chest, thinking about what he could do. He could put himself in Crowbar mouth again. Or... or...

“Turn over.” He demands, and Crowbar does, lying on his stomach. Die knows this is dangerous, but he moves quickly, fumbling a few sticky fingers inside of Crowbar. If it hurts, Crowbar doesn’t say anything. He does grunt when Die finally slides his cock inside, and Die moans, overcome by how tight Crowbar is. “Oh-... oh you’re so... you’re so good. You’re so good...”

He knows this is crossing a line. The other things were.... they weren’t good, but they weren’t this. But Die can’t make himself care. Crowbar’s ass is wonderful and Die fucks him, each thrust forced his cock deeper inside of Crowbar. He should have done this ages ago. Crowbar was good on his knees but he was even better lying on his stomach. And best of all, he could barely see the blindfold.

“You’re so good. You like it, don’t you?” Die kisses his back, hips jerking forward again and again. “Say it. Say you like it when I do this. Say you love me.”

“I like it when you do this.” Crowbar’s face stays against the bed. Die likes the look of his back like this, likes how broad and comfortable it is. He settles his face between Crowbar’s shoulder blades, feeling more turned on than he has been in years. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Oh god, I love you too. I- I-” He slams into Crowbar until he can’t even think straight. His hands dig into Crowbar’s hips, and all of him narrows down to the wonderful tight feeling of Crowbar squeezing around Die. Die shoves his mouth against Crowbar’s spine and moans into it as he comes, surrounded by all that tight wetness. His brain just stops and Die lies there, gasping and twitching, feeling Crowbar tightening again and again.

They lay there for a while, Crowbar still and silent, Die panting and still deep inside Crowbar. He’s reluctant to back out of him, but he does, wincing a little when he sees cum drip out as well. Oh, they’re going to have to get rid of that before Crowbar wakes up. That means Crowbar has to stay longer.

“Get onto your back.” He tells Crowbar, and when he does, Die curls up beside him. “Hold me. Hold me like you love me.”

Crowbar does, his arms encircling Die. His hand rests on Die’s head and back, stroking them softly. Their legs tangled together, and Die closes his eyes, pretending like this is all real. There isn’t a drug in Crowbar’s tea. Crowbar just likes pretending to be drugged, pretending that he doesn’t want it-

Die can’t make himself finish the thought. He’s finished coming, and now reality is setting in hard and fast. He just drugged Crowbar and slept- no. He drugged Crowbar and raped him. And now he’s lying beside him, having Crowbar hold him. Die is the most pathetic person in the entire universe.

He buries his face against Crowbar and cries, trying hard to keep his sobbing soft. “Tell me-” The words get stuck in his throat. His fingers dig into Crowbar’s sides, and when he does speak, it’s in a whisper. “Tell me everything will be alright.”

“Everything will be alright.” Crowbar assures him, and Die just weeps harder. He knows it’s a lie, but he so desperately craves the sound of it. This is all he wants; to be held like this, to be loved and assured by Crowbar that everything will be okay.

“Just hold me.” He begs, and those arms tighten around him. They stay like that for a very long time, until Die finally calms down. He still feels awful, but he knows it won’t mean anything. In the end, he won’t tell Crowbar what happened.

Die reluctantly slips out of his arms and gets to clean-up, which he’s gotten uncomfortably used to it by now. He cleans them both and dresses Crowbar, tucking him in and straightening him up. He does the same for himself, until they look like nothing happened.

“Lie down on the couch and close your eyes. Go to sleep, and wake in five minutes. When you wake up, you’ll feel well rested and you won’t remember a thing.” Die gives Crowbar the last set of instructions, watching at Crowbar follows them to a T. He lies down on the couch and falls asleep, all the tension draining from his body.

He’ll wake up soon, and when he does, he won’t remember a thing. Die removes the blindfold from Crowbar, and in a moment of ill-advised impulse, he ducks down and kisses Crowbar. He pulls back a moment later, cheeks flushed and his stomach sour. That was stupid of him. He shouldn’t have done that. If Crowbar remembers...

But he doesn’t. Crowbar wakes up at the end of five minutes, yawning and stretching. His eyes are blank for a moment before focusing, on Die, and life flows back into his face. Crowbar stretches, sighing with content. “That was fantastic. Your tea always hits the spot.”

“I-i’m. Happy to help.” Die forces himself to say the words. He can’t afford to be weird now.

“What’s the time?” Crowbar glances around to find the nearest clock, pulling a face when he spots it. “Shit, you need to wake me when I sleep too long. I’ve got to make sure they haven’t destroyed anything vital.”

“Sorry, I-” Was too busy drugging and raping you to say anything? No, he can’t go anywhere near that road. “You looked tired.”

“I guess I was. Thanks for the tea.” Crowbar’s up on his feet, pausing to clap Die on the shoulder. He squeezes and gives Die a smile that makes his heart flip in his chest. “You’re a real friend.”

And then he’s out the door with a nod. Die could say something else, but he doesn’t, letting Crowbar go. There’s nothing else he can say.

Die waits until Crowbar’s gone before raising his fingers to his mouth, touching the imprint of Crowbar’s mouth. He knows he should stop this. He knows that he should let Crowbar have a real sleep next time and not the false rest Die gives him after taking advantage of his trust. If he were worthy of Crowbar’s trust, he would stop.

Instead, his fingers brush over his mouth. There will be a next time, and a time after that, and so on and so on until the day he gets caught.


End file.
